You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i black out too much to be "responsible"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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