Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
