could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
