Having a random hookup so left but love u
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
whose parrot is this?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
