I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
