hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
