How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize