Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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