But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
