I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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