Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
