Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
