There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
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He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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