she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
