I think i peed on brittanys purse
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
