I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
