I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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