So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
