My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
