We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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