Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This is the prime rib incident all over again
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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