dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
