I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
