My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just saw a hot homeless man
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
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We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
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the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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