Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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