I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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