mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Damn victory sex feels great
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
