she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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