I'm lost and stupid without you.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
