i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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