Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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