The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
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Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
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He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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