Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
