i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
