I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
