How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
