it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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