So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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