Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize