That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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