i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
When did angry sex become our thing?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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