apparently the secret to your success is patron
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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