well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
