By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
