the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
