i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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