I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
vagina is talking i cant
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize