you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
