In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
