Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
