sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
