Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
