so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
