Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Im part way to drunk.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize