So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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