How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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