All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
