wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
